Home Schooled Hobbies

So, it has been a while since I posted on this blog.  I wish I could say that it was because I have been doing exciting things like traveling or working or saving the world from terrorists.  The truth is that I am super bored.  My job search has been very challenging.  Despite several interviews for different jobs, I am still unemployed.  I stay home all day with the hounds waiting for the hubs to come home from work.  But, I joined the Spouses' Club on base so I have been spending more time on base and with other females my age (thank God!).  Most importantly I have thrown myself into my new hobby: cooking and baking.

To be honest, I have not always been the best cook.  I once infamously burned butter while making pancakes for Kenneth early in our courtship.  I also used to under/over cook meat, forget critical recipe steps, and just make a mess in the kitchen.  It was such a shame because I really love food.  I love to eat out and try new restaurants and I love to enjoy food.  I take pleasure in doing something nice for someone else and I like to think that I could reproduce the recipes that I read about in magazines or see on the televisions.  Reality used to be far from my culinary dreams.  For example:  I love "breakfast for dinner."  My mom made it for us every few weeks growing up and I loved the idea of eating the wrong food at dinner time.  I told Kenneth that I wanted to make funfetti pancakes out of the mix from the store.  Well, that turned out to be my biggest culinary disaster until I made pretzel chicken.  Pretzel chicken was my attempt at romancing Kenneth when he lived in Ohio.  The meal consisted of a simple green salad and the worst chicken dish ever made in the history of the world.  I coated a chicken breast in crushed pretzels, baked it until it dried out and burned the coating, and then topped it with mustard sauce.  I wish that I could take back that meal because it cemented my reputation as a terrible cook.

I am not sure if anyone out there has seen the television show "Worst Cooks in America."  The premise is that the worst home cooks go to kitchen boot camp and learn how to cook from professional chefs.  They compete in challenges to become the best cook out of all of the contestants.  Sounds entertaining and yet disgusting right?  Well, a few years ago Kenneth said that I qualified to be on that show.  That was the last straw.  I made a vow then and there to learn to cook for myself and for my loved ones.  I could share my culinary gift with poor suckers around me.  Insert Scarlett O'Hara "I will never go hungry again" voice here!

I started my own cookbook collection featuring Barefoot Contessa among others.  Kenneth gave me "The Joy of Cooking" for our one year anniversary.  I went out on a limb and bought an ice cream book, a bread book, and some baking guides.  I looked for the prettiest pictures and the yummiest recipes every time I passed Barnes and Noble.  I became addicted to the Food Network and now the Cooking Channel.  I read cookbooks like some people read novels.  I marvel at the ingredients, the pictures, and the methodology.  I started to acquire the gear: a stand mixer, an electric ice cream maker, a food processor, and an immersion blender.  Last Christmas I got my first Le Creuset dutch oven, much to my delight.  I felt, no, I feel like a real home cook.  Long story short, I think Kenneth, my official taste tester, would agree that I have made a total transformation.  Small children no longer hide from my dinners and Kenneth no longer has to order a pizza because he didn't eat.  Now, I cannot help that Kenneth is a picky eater: dislikes chicken and won't eat seafood of any kind, mustard, and sweets.  My attempts at cooking any of those things will always end with some complaints.  We love to eat pork, lots of pork.  I hosted my first Thanksgiving complete with homemade (delicious) sausage stuffing and my Mom's garlic mashed potatoes with a serving dish licked clean.  I almost mastered Katherine's "noodley stuff" recipe.  I specialize in a sesame beef recipe that I stir fry in our wok.  Pork chops and roasts are my bitch and taste delicious glazed, seared, and served with greens or red cabbage.  I even used my crock pot to make pulled pork sandwiches!  I consider my culinary comeback to be one of my biggest accomplishments because food makes me happy and the happy feeling I get from entertaining makes me feel good about myself.  Being a good cook makes me feel like a renaissance woman: smart, funny, perky, AND a good cook.  But just being a good cook was not enough.  I had to master more.

I have always been an over achiever.  I work for the A+ not just the A.  Call it ambition or annoying, I just like to be the best or as close to the best as I can be.  I can't just cook well, I have to be a cook.  I decided that since I am faltering at finding a job in California that I would tackle a new culinary hobby: breads.  Kenneth bought a stand mixer for me about a year ago.  I wished for a long time that I had the free time and the ambition to use it more.  And then I developed my bread hobby.  Well, it is actually a baking ambition.  In the last two and a half weeks I have:

1.  made a two layer traditional red velvet cake (cocoa powder, vinegar, buttermilk, and all).
2. successfully baked two different types of foccacia: herb and caramelized onion.  By the way, easiest yeast bread to make.
3. completed a pie crust challenge: pate brisee.
4. conquered challah bread.  Challah bread is a traditional Jewish egg bread.  I am not Jewish but I think that I would fool the most kosher kitchen with this bread.
5. found meyer lemons at the farm stand and turned them into meyer lemon curd.  I will use this to fill the pie crust and make a lemon curd tart!

Somedays I get down about my situation.  I am a college educated, smart, savy woman with no job.  Somedays I feel like I don't contribute to my family.  But, I have learned that by teaching myself hobbies, I keep busy and I feel good about my accomplishments.  My A+ comes at the end of the day when I get the nod of approval from Kenneth and the dogs try to eat my food straight off the hot stove or out of the hot oven.  My situation isn't perfect but I am working on changing my stars and adapting.  Today I am homeschooling myself in the art of bread making and baking.  Next month, I move onto canning. I hope that with a little education I can pickle and make jams without giving loved ones food poisoning. It might not be corporate America but it makes me happy and gives my day a purpose.  So if you see my highlander at Trader Joe's it is a safe bet that something tasty is coming out of the oven at our house!